Surface Tensions

After I mentioned it yesterday, I went digging for a bit more detail on the bill up for consideration in the Ontario Parliament. I found an article in the the London Free Press that mentions some of the background. A couple of years ago a roadside zoo had a kangaroo that seemed to be in pretty bad shape, bad enough that people began to take notice. Then the kangaroo disappeared. The folks running the zoo wouldn’t say what was going on and while people suspected the worst, they didn’t have enough evidence to get a search warrant. So they couldn’t make sure the animal wasn’t still on the property. This bill aims to correct that among other things.

NPR has canceled the Bryant Park Project. While I’m certainly not part of their target audience, I’ve enjoyed listening to their podcast when I get home after work. It was a mixture of hard news, popular culture and just plain fun that I just couldn’t not like.

Tomorrow’s show will be the last. BPP, we’ll miss you.

A few stories that caught my eye:

Dunlop against animal cruelty bill - Mr Dunlop is a MP for the Ontario Parliament which seems to be considering a new animal cruelty bill. He says the bill, if passed, would create “a lot of unhappy campers.” We can’t have that can we? One of his biggest concerns seems to be that farmers think the bill might impinge upon their livelihood. Well, if what they’re doing constitutes animal cruelty then impinge away I would say!

Man Charged With Animal Cruelty - This story comes to us from Florida. It would appear this gentleman (and I use that very loosely) consumed a few too many of the state’s fine potables and decided a woman and her pig needed to be taught a lesson. He knocked the elderly woman down, rendering her unconscious, and kicked and stabbed her pet pig. The deputy who arrested him was apparently familiar with him. Doesn’t this suggest he needs some help, and to be kept away from society?

Ruskin Man Charged With Animal Cruelty, Attempted Murder - This man, also from Florida, tried to shoot another man but hit and killed the dog instead. It wasn’t clear if the dog was an intended target or the guy was just a really bad shot. It appears the target of the shooting had been dating the other man’s cousin. If I had a cousin I’m sure I’d be shooting at her boyfriend as well. Thank God for small families!

we’ve got a problem. I’ve always wondered why, when I met somebody new and they find out I’m a vegan (I don’t make it a big secret) there’s always this little, “Oh crap, now what am I in for” moment. Well, if the a-hole in this article is any example of how most veg*ans react when dining with omnis, I can understand the reaction.

One of the mailing lists I’m on sent this link out and I’m not exactly sure why. It’s from the December 2001 issue of Satya magazine which is no longer published. It’s this “Jack Vegetarianberger’s” column and if this is any indication of his personality, I understand the need for anonymity. Maybe it’s just all a big joke but it certainly doesn’t read that way to me.

He makes a couple of gratuitous slams against Republicans and then moves on to the main part of the piece. “I don’t like dining with nonvegetarians.” “Is it impolite of carnivores to eat animal flesh when they dine with vegetarians? I think so.”

Is this guy so completely insecure about his dietary choices that he needs to wall himself off from the omni world? Like it or not, we’re a minority. Around here, a really, really small minority. I know a few vegetarians (if you use the word loosely) but not a single vegan. (If you’re a single vegan from around here, leave me a comment, I need friends!)

When I dine out with someone, I make it quite clear that I will not be eating animals but the other person is free to order what they wish. Except for veal. I don’t feel the need to “witness” for my lifestyle. And yes, sometimes the odor of meat is nauseating. But you know what? That’s everywhere.

I was in my local Meijer last weekend buying some produce and someone was doing a cooking demo, with fish, right next to the green onions. I literally felt my gorge rise. If you’re not safe in the produce department where are you?

And then, oddly enough, the second part of his article is about how much he hates Anthony Bourdain. While I will bow to no one in my dislike for Chief Bourdain, announcing his death does seem a bit over the top. And I have to find it somewhat ironic, that Mr Vegetarianberger can identify the venom coming from Bourdain but fails to see it in himself. What’s the bit from the Bible? Something about a splinter in someone else’s eye and the plank in yours?

What does everyone else think?

The FDA announced today they have found the correct strain of salmonella on a jalapeno pepper in a distribution point in Texas. A…single…pepper. None of the other produce in the place was contaminated and the FDA has no idea where the pepper was contaminated. I suppose the bright spot here is maybe my Serrano peppers will become available again but really folks.

I think the FDA has adequately proven that they have absolutely no idea what’s going on here. Maybe it was the tomatoes, maybe it was the peppers, maybe it was a farm, maybe it was a warehouse, maybe it was little green men from Mars. The point is, they’re just flailing around in the dark and embarrassing themselves. At some point it just needs to stop. And I think we’re well past that point.

A television news helicopter has spotted a second white humpback whale off the coast of Australia. A record number of humpback whales have been seen off that coast following their migration route north to their breeding grounds. A bit of good news! Maybe the alien probe won’t need to destroy us after all.

but then feel really, really sorry about it. That’s a formula that seems to have worked for a County Derry man recently. William David Streeter hanged the family dog and then taunted his wife as she cut the body down. His sentence? A whopping six months. But he’s remorseful. His lawyer, “He simply lost it. It is behaviour that he sincerely and genuinely regrets.” You know, I’ve lost it before. I’ve screamed obscenities, thrown things against the wall and beat my fists on the table. Somehow it’s never occurred to me to kill the family pet.

UPDATE: Yes the lawyer is British and speaks in British spellings.

to lose weight. If you’ve been in a drug store in the last few months you’ve probably seen Alli, a new weight loss product from GlaxoSmithKline. It seems to be a variation on Olestra, the fat substitute that tanked a few years ago but not before adding one of my favorite phrases to the English language, “anal leakage”

And it seems that Alli suffers from some of the same issues. From the official web site, “Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.” Wouldn’t it be simpler and less, uh, messy, to just eat less and exercise more?

The Pew Research Center asked about a thousand adults a dozen questions about the news. Things like who is opposing the Shia in Iraq and who’s the head of the Federal Reserve Board. I took the quiz and got all twelve right. I’m not bragging but 97% of the adults surveyed were not able to do as well. This is a democracy people, we are supposed to be picking the people who run things around here. If we don’t know what’s going on, that’s not a good sign.

Take the quiz here and see how well you do.

A quick roundup of some notable stories involving animal cruelty

Police: NY motorbike rider made dog run alongside - It seems that this genius decided that his dog should run home tied to his motorbike. Not a good idea in and of itself but the ride was going to be about 30 miles. I think he should just be tied to something and made to run 30 miles himself. Doesn’t have to be all that fast either.

Greenland woman faces felony animal cruelty charge - That’s Greenland in New Hampshire in case you were wondering. The woman, who was convicted of a similar offense eleven years ago, was seen by a number of people beating her dog. The part that’s interesting? “At this time, [her] dog has not been taken from her” Am I the only one that sees at least a chance of a pattern here?

Psych assessments ordered for two teens who microwaved cat - This one has a couple of really great quotes in it. I suppose it’s nice to see that our neighbors to the North have lawyers pretty much like ours. “They say their young clients want to get on with their lives and can’t do that until they’re sentenced.” I’m fairly certain the cat would like to get on with its life as well, only, well, it’s dead, you know? “Outside court, Mr. Laluk [the prosecutor] said the assessment could impact the sentences handed down to the teens, and could even recommend time in custody.” Wow, time in custody. For killing a fellow being. Seems pretty over the top to me. Maybe we could just microwave the kids?